Dang it...

I was writing this blog because I originally thought I would be able to post this video clip of singing while my Dad was playing but... the file was too big even thought it wasn't even 5 minutes long so yeah... I tried forever and no luck. Anyways, I absolutely LOVE LOVE sitting with my Dad and sharing the love of music and getting that priceless moment of just praising God.
I really want to make a CD with my Dad playing just the guitar, nothing overly produced... just the same sound I get when we totally chill and play a song together. Also, I would love to have my Grandpa record a song with me and my Mom as well. I think this would just be the best thing I could EVER EVER have! Anyways... yeah I thought I would share something that is so special and dear to me because moments like those are not as usual anymore as they were before, and as I'd like for them to be due to not getting to see my Dad as frequently as I would like since the divorce.

Was it the purses or just something waiting to come out

I'm taking a break from going through all my clothes, shoes, and PURSES and sorting which will go with me to Hawaii, what will be given to Goodwill, or what I'll save at my Mom's house till I come back the following year. I have to put a lot of thought into every single item: "have I even worn this at all this year", "if this even going to be in style a year from now"," could this be replaced with a better looking one when I get back", "I haven't worn this... but gosh it's too cute to get rid of". So you get the difficulty and how TIME consuming this process can be for an ADD girl. I was doing fine however, I took my Ginkgo Biloba supplement so I was sort of not as distracted as I could usually be. So why am I writing a blog in the middle of this sorting process you ask well... while going through my parting process of getting rid some of my treasured purses I started to tear up. No crying with my clothes or shoes... but my beloved purses... YES. I am a purse person, but I don't go by the expensive price tag ones or a certain designer brand. I really love different designs and just a purse that screams "I am so YOU, Natalie!". I love hunting for a purse that fits my versatile moods. I think any girl who is a purse girl totally understand this! Anyways, even if I have had a purse forever and don't wear it anymore it is so hard to get rid of... it's this bond. HAHA... OK I am laughing at myself because I am starting to sound pretty pathetic.

Anyways, what I am hoping is that my tears weren't brought on due to having to part with my purses I think it goes much deeper than that (I'm hoping so at least, or there might be something wrong with me!). As I am looking at certain purses, some of them represent different chapters in my life and each one of them brought different memories back. Then I start thinking how my life has changed and how once again I am beginning another chapter of my life. Here I am MOVING to Hawaii and leaving my family and friends behind. I've never been the one to get home sick, maybe it was because I know they are just a few hours away and a weekend trip isn't that big of a deal. But I am already getting homesick in a way, and I'm not even in Hawaii yet. Don't get me wrong, I am excited about moving and doing something totally adventurous. I know there will be tough financial issues and things like that but I think it is worth the sacrifice for a year. I think that this will be a wonderful learning experience and one of those things that everyone keeps telling me to do because they wished they would have been able to do something like that. So I am going for it!

People keep asking me "So you getting excited?" and I have noticed that I seem very disconnected with the question... like "yeah..." and I am not sure if maybe this whole time I was sort of not letting myself soak it all in because I knew that I am going to have those moments where I have to say bye to my family and friends and not see them for a long time or perhaps the whole year I am gone. So I've sort of put off packing anything or going through my stuff till today and I think I realized while sorting through my purses that I really am going this. Am I seriously freakin' moving to HAWAII!?!? Yup... I keep thinking that I might be the only person on the plane going to Hawaii that might be tearing up... heck probably crying. Anyways, I had to take a moment and step away from my purses because it kind of opened my own eyes to see that I really am moving, that I have been a teacher for 2 years which would make me a professional ADULT... really an adult.. that sounds so old ya know, and that my life is sort of unpredictable at this moment in time. Well, I know Jesus holds my hand wherever I go and that I will be taken care of.

OK guys... back to the dreaded departure of purses... stay tuned....

Stress...

Things are a bit of stressful right now in my life. My trip to Hawaii just got more stressful. I won’t lie; I’ve been worried about not only MOVING there and leaving my family who I love dearly, but also going to another state which almost seems like another country. I have to find a job which makes me nervous because I don’t have the advantage that I do here because I am bilingual. Me knowing Spanish is pretty much pointless because there is like an 8% Hispanic population so yeah unless I know Japanese, I’m not considered the kind of bilingual they want to employ. The economy here lately is just not so good and everything gets more expensive week after week. Well, Hawaii is already much more expensive than Texas so I’m very nervous to see what kind of life I will live there. I’ve already become accustomed to having my own apartment and having a steady income, so this experience that I am seeking is definitely taking me out of my comfort zone. I hope it is all worth it, even if we don’t make it a whole year over there it would be nice to know that I tried and we enjoyed living in paradise for a while. However this is not why I am stressed out about, I knew all of that going into this. At the beginning of this month I get an e-mail telling me that my flight to Honolulu is canceled because my airlines ATA went bankrupt (LOVELY!!). They said someone would notify me but that other airlines were helping out by giving $99 segment charges. Now I wish I would have just forked out another $99 because I received another e-mail yesterday telling me that they are now going to refund me my money and that I will have to purchase another ticket. Doesn’t sound bad right? I could just buy another ticket right? WRONG… because my airline ATA and another Hawaiian airline are no longer flying the prices have like tripled plus since I planned it so far in advance I got a great deal… now I have to pay an outrageous amount of money. But it’s sort of a big mess, I don’t know all the details of what to do but thankfully I have a wonderful boyfriend who is taking care of making all these calls. However, he has the same situation I do except he’s leaving in 3 weeks so I know he’s REALLY stressing out along with some other things. So yeah… we definitely are hitting some bumps on this adventure we want to go on.