Feel 16 yrs old all over again...

I am having flashbacks of my driver's ed days in high school. Ask anyone who was privileged enough to drive with me during my driver's ed class and they will tell you that they were probably scared for their life! I wouldn't blame them I was probably the only one who went to driver's ed who had no idea how to actually drive. Everyone knows how to drive when they take the class, they just take it to get their licence. But somehow my parents didn't know this and sent me off clueless to these courses. Of all the cars that were on the lineup to drive for the sessions, I get stuck with the only VAN. I panicked when I heard my name knowing that I was going to drive this huge vehicle. I brushed it off and figured I would be OK to learn in a bigger vehicle and then transition to a smaller one. There were 2 other students who were lucky like me and got stuck with this van. The instructor takes us to a neighborhood to drive and then it comes to my turn. The two other students in the van already knew how to drive, they didn't ask any questions just listened to the instructor on where to go. So yeah... it was my turn and I sit in the driver's seat with a lot of anxiety. I looked at the instructor and said, "I don't know how to drive". And he said, "That's what we are here for, so you can learn". OK this man didn't understand what I was saying... like I didn't know which one was the gas and which one was the brake much less knew anything else. So, someone else took over the wheel and drove me to a parking lot where I had to drive around in a parking lot. Driver's Ed was quite terrifying for me and all those that were in the van with me. My instructor had to use the brake on his side at least one time that I know of and that was because he had to SLAM on them or else I would hit a parked car because I accidentally stepped on the gas instead of the brakes while trying to park. Then the next day, my instructor had me reverse behind a moving train. The other 2 students in the back were literally praying for their life and believe it or not there is still more driving ed stories. Oh the good ol' days... but back to my point.

In a couple of months my driver's license was going to expire and I needed to get a Hawaiian one. I hopped in my car, turned on my GPS system that led me to where I needed to renew my licence. I made sure to look nice, I even straightened my hair so that I would have a nice picture. I get there expecting to just pose and go. But oh no... they made me take a written exam. So yeah... this is where I felt like a 16 yr old all over again. I had to go in this room filled with young teens. I start to get really nervous because some of the questions were phrased in a confusing way and some of these signals they were referring to (which no picture was provided) I had never even seen in Texas. I turn in my form and genuinely nervous that I fail. They call me up... yup I failed. Hmmm back to feeling 16 again... I failed my first driver's test, go figure haha. So I looked over all the questions again and my answers so that next Friday I can pass. Then I'll have a Hawaiian licence which for some weird reason I think is cool.

Oh and may I add that my GPS system has saved my life. I purchased one here because Hawaiian highways and streets are not like in Texas... it can get complicated. I get lost in my own hometown so... yeah Nathan said I didn't have much of a choice but to purchase one and it has been the best investment EVER!

I'm here!!!

It has been a crazy, non-stop time for me. Nathan left for Hawaii on May 6th and I was in San Marcos trying to finish off the school year. I had so much work to do the last couple of weeks and it was tough having no help. I was trying to get my apartment packed up, sell whatever I needed to sell on craigslist, pack up my classroom ALONE, and dealing with "flakers"( the people that say they will buy your stuff but never show). I really never had time to breathe, it was always go, go, go. As soon as I graduated my kinder kiddos I was heading to Laredo to spend some time with my beloved Papi. Gosh I love that man so much! He makes me laugh more than anyone in the world, sometimes because he's funny and sometime because he's just straight up goofy... but I love him regardless. We got to spend a lot of time together, time that I really needed with him. Ever since the divorce my Dad hasn't been himself for obvious reasons. His heart is shattered which in return breaks mine too. But we talked about it and I think we both needed to do some venting and share our emotions that we tend to keep to our self. I had a great time with my Dad, I always do! I really am Daddy's little princess so who wouldn't love that special attention, haha?
From Laredo I followed my grandpa to Del Rio since he was coming in from Mexico. I wanted to spend some quality time with my grandparents too before I came to Hawaii. They are such wonderful grandparents and love me dearly. Santana and I are the only grandchildren so they are very special to me. I love spending time with my Grandma, she always wants to go shopping and I always learn something about cooking . Although, the cooking thing doesn't stick very well... but I love the quality time regardless. She always gives me random hugs and tells me how happy she is that I am there. I also love talking with my grandpa, he always has these stories from his life. I hope to write many of them down one day so I will never forget them. Someone could write a book about his life it's so interesting. I also spent time with my Aunt and Uncle who just recently bought a new wolf. Her name is Sarabi, she's beautiful! I spent some quality time with them as well and enjoyed swimming in the lake in Del Rio, I'd be swimming in a beach in Hawaii soon enough.
I went back to San Marcos and packed up my little apartment. I couldn't help but be so thankful to God for giving me a successful year. I had lived in my own apartment this year and really got the whole "real world" experience. I also was about to embark on a new adventure... one that would be a different chapter in my life. I was very nervous, apprehensive, and for some reason I didn't want to think about the actual move to Hawaii because it was a bittersweet feeling. So, after burning off thousands of calories from loading the Uhaul going up and down my 2nd story apartment, we were ready to head back to Mom's.
I had a task of somehow fitting all my boxes that were staying at my Mom's in Santana's closet. By a miracle I think, it actually all fit! I got to spend some good time with my Mama. I knew she would be taking it just as hard as me just knowing I wasn't in driving distance. I love my mom so much, I have a lot of her crazy spirit which she says scares her. But regardless, she's taught me a lot. The week goes my fast, I am woken up by my Mom at 2:30am after sleeping only one hour, I needed to get ready to head to the airport. I had to tell Mom bye at the door that which I had called home for years and years. I got emotional but I wanted to be strong for her, and I think she was doing the same for me. We shed a few tears but we definitely were holding it in because we knew we would break down if we lingered on for any longer.
Jorge took me to the airport for my super early flight and helped me unload my 68lb and 70lb bags, which by another miracle only cost me $125 because by their policy I was supposed to be charged $325. So thank you to the lady who cut me a break or doesn't know their baggage policy. I walked toward my gate and I boarded my plane a bit later at 5:35am. I was fine, I wasn't crying... everything was ...fine. I sat next to a man who I could tell was a business man but his true passion in life was traveling. He told me all about his traveling experiences to exotic places. It made my 3 hr flight to Phoenix go by so fast. He was encouraging me to travel to Thailand and Malaysia. I could tell that now that he was married with young children, that his passion of traveling has to be put on halt for a while and comes with a lot more sacrifices. Thailand... I'm not sure I'm ready for that but who knows, maybe one day. A visit... not a permanent move, don't worry.
OK, so I land in Arizona and arrive so tired. I only slept that one hour and I had another 8 hours on a plane to fly into Honolulu. I was blessed to get a window seat on my way to Hawaii which I was very happy about because I wanted to see the island as we flew in. Amazingly, the seat next to me was empty so that gave me so much space to relax and ability to take a good nap. Did it happen? NO... I slept for like 20 minutes and that was it. But as I was sitting in the plane it FINALLY hit me. "OH MY GOSH!!! I am MOVING to HAWAII!!! Oh my gosh, oh my gosh for YEAR!!! What am I doing??? A WHOLE YEAR". It was as if it never occurred to me what I was really doing while I was packing. And when I would tell people about moving to Hawaii I would say "It's JUST a year". Just a year?!??! Oh my gosh... a year is a freakin' LONG LONG time. All these thoughts were running through my head. I started to tear up and I was having to breathe calmly to stop myself from having this meltdown that I had not allowed myself to have unconsciously at home I guess. I finally calmed down and sort of kept myself occupied by watching 50 First Dates on my laptop, reading Cosmo, and attempting to close my eyes in hope of falling asleep. The trip wasn't as long as I thought it would take, it wasn't bad at all. But I was spoiled having all that room to myself. So, the pilot announces that we are arriving to Honolulu in a few minutes. I am glued to the window as I see this land fast approaching. It's very green and I could see mountains and the waves in the ocean. I land and after walking a long time I finally arrive to the baggage claim. I knew that Nathan would be on the other side of that door as I was pushing it and all I wanted was his embrace and comfort. It's not long before we meet eyes and he's wearing his linen pants and a blue shirt that compliments his beautiful blue eyes so well. He has a purple lei around his neck. We hugged so tight and all I could smell was this wonderfully smelling plumeria lei around his neck. I was SOOO excited when he put the lei on me and the aroma just captivated me. He handed me the roses that I hadn't noticed he was holding. They were beautiful and I felt so special. I had missed him and finally we were together again. As we drive around, I fell in love with all the trees and flowers here. They are so beautiful! We eat at a Mexican restaurant... I know, I know... Nathan totally misses Mexican food so he's in search of trying to find a good Mexican restaurant here in Hawaii. We head to our new apartment. We get to the door, where he decided he's going to pick me up and carry me into the apartment. It was so sweet!! I LOVE our apartment, it's small but perfect and our view is just so awesome! Hawaii... it's my home now.

Dang it...

I was writing this blog because I originally thought I would be able to post this video clip of singing while my Dad was playing but... the file was too big even thought it wasn't even 5 minutes long so yeah... I tried forever and no luck. Anyways, I absolutely LOVE LOVE sitting with my Dad and sharing the love of music and getting that priceless moment of just praising God.
I really want to make a CD with my Dad playing just the guitar, nothing overly produced... just the same sound I get when we totally chill and play a song together. Also, I would love to have my Grandpa record a song with me and my Mom as well. I think this would just be the best thing I could EVER EVER have! Anyways... yeah I thought I would share something that is so special and dear to me because moments like those are not as usual anymore as they were before, and as I'd like for them to be due to not getting to see my Dad as frequently as I would like since the divorce.

Was it the purses or just something waiting to come out

I'm taking a break from going through all my clothes, shoes, and PURSES and sorting which will go with me to Hawaii, what will be given to Goodwill, or what I'll save at my Mom's house till I come back the following year. I have to put a lot of thought into every single item: "have I even worn this at all this year", "if this even going to be in style a year from now"," could this be replaced with a better looking one when I get back", "I haven't worn this... but gosh it's too cute to get rid of". So you get the difficulty and how TIME consuming this process can be for an ADD girl. I was doing fine however, I took my Ginkgo Biloba supplement so I was sort of not as distracted as I could usually be. So why am I writing a blog in the middle of this sorting process you ask well... while going through my parting process of getting rid some of my treasured purses I started to tear up. No crying with my clothes or shoes... but my beloved purses... YES. I am a purse person, but I don't go by the expensive price tag ones or a certain designer brand. I really love different designs and just a purse that screams "I am so YOU, Natalie!". I love hunting for a purse that fits my versatile moods. I think any girl who is a purse girl totally understand this! Anyways, even if I have had a purse forever and don't wear it anymore it is so hard to get rid of... it's this bond. HAHA... OK I am laughing at myself because I am starting to sound pretty pathetic.

Anyways, what I am hoping is that my tears weren't brought on due to having to part with my purses I think it goes much deeper than that (I'm hoping so at least, or there might be something wrong with me!). As I am looking at certain purses, some of them represent different chapters in my life and each one of them brought different memories back. Then I start thinking how my life has changed and how once again I am beginning another chapter of my life. Here I am MOVING to Hawaii and leaving my family and friends behind. I've never been the one to get home sick, maybe it was because I know they are just a few hours away and a weekend trip isn't that big of a deal. But I am already getting homesick in a way, and I'm not even in Hawaii yet. Don't get me wrong, I am excited about moving and doing something totally adventurous. I know there will be tough financial issues and things like that but I think it is worth the sacrifice for a year. I think that this will be a wonderful learning experience and one of those things that everyone keeps telling me to do because they wished they would have been able to do something like that. So I am going for it!

People keep asking me "So you getting excited?" and I have noticed that I seem very disconnected with the question... like "yeah..." and I am not sure if maybe this whole time I was sort of not letting myself soak it all in because I knew that I am going to have those moments where I have to say bye to my family and friends and not see them for a long time or perhaps the whole year I am gone. So I've sort of put off packing anything or going through my stuff till today and I think I realized while sorting through my purses that I really am going this. Am I seriously freakin' moving to HAWAII!?!? Yup... I keep thinking that I might be the only person on the plane going to Hawaii that might be tearing up... heck probably crying. Anyways, I had to take a moment and step away from my purses because it kind of opened my own eyes to see that I really am moving, that I have been a teacher for 2 years which would make me a professional ADULT... really an adult.. that sounds so old ya know, and that my life is sort of unpredictable at this moment in time. Well, I know Jesus holds my hand wherever I go and that I will be taken care of.

OK guys... back to the dreaded departure of purses... stay tuned....

Stress...

Things are a bit of stressful right now in my life. My trip to Hawaii just got more stressful. I won’t lie; I’ve been worried about not only MOVING there and leaving my family who I love dearly, but also going to another state which almost seems like another country. I have to find a job which makes me nervous because I don’t have the advantage that I do here because I am bilingual. Me knowing Spanish is pretty much pointless because there is like an 8% Hispanic population so yeah unless I know Japanese, I’m not considered the kind of bilingual they want to employ. The economy here lately is just not so good and everything gets more expensive week after week. Well, Hawaii is already much more expensive than Texas so I’m very nervous to see what kind of life I will live there. I’ve already become accustomed to having my own apartment and having a steady income, so this experience that I am seeking is definitely taking me out of my comfort zone. I hope it is all worth it, even if we don’t make it a whole year over there it would be nice to know that I tried and we enjoyed living in paradise for a while. However this is not why I am stressed out about, I knew all of that going into this. At the beginning of this month I get an e-mail telling me that my flight to Honolulu is canceled because my airlines ATA went bankrupt (LOVELY!!). They said someone would notify me but that other airlines were helping out by giving $99 segment charges. Now I wish I would have just forked out another $99 because I received another e-mail yesterday telling me that they are now going to refund me my money and that I will have to purchase another ticket. Doesn’t sound bad right? I could just buy another ticket right? WRONG… because my airline ATA and another Hawaiian airline are no longer flying the prices have like tripled plus since I planned it so far in advance I got a great deal… now I have to pay an outrageous amount of money. But it’s sort of a big mess, I don’t know all the details of what to do but thankfully I have a wonderful boyfriend who is taking care of making all these calls. However, he has the same situation I do except he’s leaving in 3 weeks so I know he’s REALLY stressing out along with some other things. So yeah… we definitely are hitting some bumps on this adventure we want to go on.

So I am a lil' crazy...

I just got home from visiting my Mom. It's my Spring Bring and one of my childhood friends got married this weekend so I went down the first weekend of Spring Break. I got to see my wonderful dad and spent some quality time before he had to leave that next morning to go to a bible convention in San Luis Mexico.
I got to see my best friend in the world Marisol. We usually spend every Valentine's together but we didn't get to this year so we just exchanged our Valentine's almost a month later. We ate some yummy Bob's Tacos and enjoyed some time together before she had to hit the books to study for midterms.
I also got to spend a lot of time with Mom. Last night we jammed out on the karaoke machine and had such an awesome time. We laughed so hard and just acted crazy. Seriously is ANYONE were to have seen us they would have thought my mom and I would have taken some shots of tequila or something. But oh no, it's all natural... we are just crazy ha ha. It's great though I laughed some calories off and we had a good time singing and dancing. "Sing and dance like no one is watching!!"... and for our sake, we hope no one was watching!

One step closer to paradise

So I did it... I bought my ONE-WAY ticket to Hawaii last night!!! It's crazy to think that June 23rd I am boarding a plane and moving to Hawaii (*crossing fingers*). I've been very VERY nervous about this and everyone else has been telling me get over it and that they would love to be in my shoes so instead I'm just taking it in and saying yes... I'm going to embrace this opportunity and go with it instead of being so... stressed.
I'm thinking I need to get a nice tan before I even think about boarding so that way I might blend in a bit more instead of being this not very tan Mexican girl that I am, haha. I also bought a GIGANTIC suit case yesterday called the "Mammoth" because we are literally packing our bags and going. NUTS huh?
I'm going to be a VERY busy girl in June. I'm having to move out of my apartment, move out of my classroom, figure out what I'm going to do with all my stuff and all of this without Nathan. Last year Nathan and I were at the school till 12:30 AM packing up my classroom and that was both of our efforts I am DREADING this part of doing it on my own and being hindered by my never ending shoulder issue. Also, I'm going to do a lot of visiting before I leave. Because I'm not planning on taking trips back to Texas since it's not cheap and well... I've faced the facts that Nathan and I will be more like having to make ourselves eat SPAM instead of going out to eat seafood due to money issues. We'll be on a strict budget I'm sure so... I'm hoping to make stops in Laredo, Richmond, Mexico, and Del Rio so we will see how that goes.